Trump's Insider Trading

Trump's Insider Trading!

Trump does not care about his war in Iran the way we Real Patriotic Americans do. He cares about holding onto power, looking powerful, and having the kind of money that can buy both of those things. And the BBC published a report that proves all three.

Their reporting reminded us of how this all works. When a war in the Middle East starts or stops, oil prices move dramatically because so much of the world’s oil supply runs through that region. Traders can place bets, called futures, on whether the price of oil is about to go up or down. If you know in advance which way it’s going, before anyone else does, you can make an enormous amount of money very quickly. That kind of advance knowledge is called insider information. Using it to trade is a federal crime, and it has been since 1934.

Yet something extremely concerning has been happening since Trump’s second term started: the BBC found a consistent pattern of traders placing enormous bets on oil prices just before Trump made major war announcements, announcements that moved the markets exactly the way those bets predicted. Here are two examples.

On March 9, 2026, Trump told CBS News the Iran conflict was “very complete, pretty much.” When that news hit, oil prices dropped 25%, because traders assumed the war was ending and oil would start flowing normally again. But the BBC found that a massive surge of bets on oil prices falling had been placed 47 minutes before the reporter even posted Trump’s words publicly. The interview wasn’t public yet. It hadn’t been reported. The only people who could have known what Trump said were the people in that conversation. And 47 minutes before the rest of the world found out, somebody bet millions of dollars that oil was about to drop, and those people made millions more when it did.

And then on April 7, 2026, hours before Trump announced a two-week ceasefire with Iran, traders placed bets estimated at around $950 million on falling crude oil prices. Not a few thousand dollars. Nearly a billion dollars, positioned perfectly, before the public knew a ceasefire was coming. When the announcement hit, oil dropped 15%, and whoever placed those bets made a fortune.

The CFTC, the federal agency that oversees this kind of trading, has now launched a formal probe. Democratic Congressman Ritchie Torres called it potentially “one of the largest instances of insider trading in history.” And here is the detail that makes this all that much worse: the White House sent an internal email to its own staff warning them not to use insider information to place bets on prediction markets. They knew it was happening. From inside their own walls. They sent a memo about it.

We’ve seen what happens when people trade on inside information before. In 2004, Martha Stewart went to federal prison for five months after lying to federal investigators about a stock trade she made based on insider information. She avoided losses of about $45,000. That is what it took to send someone to prison. The people who appear to be trading on Trump’s war announcements are making hundreds of millions of dollars on the same kind of information. And the agencies that should be investigating them answer to the man at the center of it all — Toddler Trump, the Tyrant.